I’ve been thinking lately how amazing it is to give myself unconditional love.
This was not something I have always been able to do. Sure I always felt I had plenty of self love and self confidence- but what I recently realized through coaching is that this was often conditional on
How much I was achieving
How productive I was on any given day
What other people thought about me (external validation)
My own negative judgements of myself
What I learned through coaching is that I am 100% lovable, just as I am- no fancy achievement needed!
It is ok if I am:
A messy imperfect human!
Someone who needs rest
Someone who gets a lower than expected test score
Someone who sometimes says or does things that are not aligned with the “highest version” of myself (ahem- mean thoughts and words, not doing what is said I was going to do etc)
The truth is we are born 100% lovable and 100% worthy. There is NO benefit to believing otherwise. This is such good news! That means the suffering thoughts of “Im not good enough” and “ Im not worthy” are all optional.
The truth is we are all striving to do our best. This gets better when we act out of LOVE for ourselves rather than from the energy of not-enoughness.
That feeling of unworthiness does not get us experiences of love, fulfillment, success or doing good in the world. It keeps us small. It keeps us from accessing our unique talents.
I can accomplish things because I want to- because it brings me joy. Not because it makes me more worthy or lovable.
That means I get to choose to do what I WANT to do and questions everything else. Everything that comes with a “should” or a “have-to”- those things are optional.
This doesn’t mean I LOVE everything I do but it means I love my reasons for it. I sometimes cut my son’s fingernails because I don’t want him to rip them on anything or scratch himself or us. I don’t particularly enjoy this task (neither does he) but I do it out of love for him and for myself. This is just one small example.
In this example I might snap at him for moving while I'm trying to cut his nails. This just means I'm human- and so is he! I can snap at my child while trying to cut his nails and still decide I am a good enough mother. If I am in this not-enoughness/self judgement energy then I usually just give him kisses on the head and comfort him as I try to get him to stay still. If I act from not enoughness this usually escalates from snapping to yelling and both of us are upset.
If you are not with me that is ok. It took me a while to get here too! If you are interested in learning more about this or interested at all in pregnancy coaching please message me by replying to this email or booking a free consultation below!