I have recently heard more than one pregnant woman tell me that they just want to know how to be a “good” pregnant person. That they are trying really hard to stop what they consider bad habits that they know could be improved on.
And of course, we all could be better at being other people’s definition of “good” but in the process we may lose ourselves in stress, fear and self doubt.
If you have gestational diabetes you do not have to have the perfect diet, exercise and glucose log to be a worthy pregnant person- or even to guarantee a “good” outcome. These things can help of course, but if you can only be good by being perfect this adds stress, suffering and disconnection.
It is not perfectly transactional. It would be so great and so terrible if it was. Good pregnancy outcomes can and do often happen to people who dont live perfect lives. Tragic pregnancy outcomes can happen regardless of how good and perfect you are able to be.
You see- there is no one definition of “good” or the “right way” to be a pregnant person.
You get to decide. You get to decide where you will get your information. Who you want to have with you on this journey. What “good” means to you. And then let it be doable. Let it be something that feels amazing, empowering and right for you. And let go of perfection.
This does not mean you need to scrap the diet, exercise, schedule, acupuncture, glucose log etc. These things can help. But you know what else helps? Taking away the pressure to be perfect to earn worthiness, to earn “good”ness. You are worthy regardless of the pregnancy journey and outcome.
You are worthy and good just as you are.
You are allowed to want good amazing things for yourself and your baby.
You are allowed to experience outcomes that were not what you planned, not what you expected. AND these outcomes do not make you any less worthy of love or a healthy pregnancy and baby. You are enough AND your feelings, desires, fears are all valid.
And if you drop the need to be perfect to be worthy, it eases the suffering. It lessens the stress. It makes way for getting to truly experience the entire range of joy and sorrow and discomfort and awe of being a pregnant person, a person desiring pregnancy and a new mother.
Finding your own definition of good means you get to connect with your intuition- your own internal knowing over everyone else’s opinions of how you should be living your life. And that is truly empowering.
This does not mean you never seek outside advice or help or expert opinion. It means that when you do, you get to check how it resonates with your own internal knowing.
Creating the pregnancy journey you want- whether it is 8 hrs of sleep and all organic foods or 6 hours of sleep, 12 hours laying on the couch and junk food in moderation.
Having your own back.
Connecting with your body.
Resting in the power of being enough. No matter what happens.
If you want to learn more about how to connect with yourself on your pregnancy journey, I would love to work with you! You can book a free consult call with me here:
https://calendly.com/erslifecoach/coaching-consult?month=2023-05 or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
You can also register for my free weekly Finding Peace in Pregnancy support group where we meet at 8pm ET weekly via Zoom and discuss all things pregnancy! You do not have to be pregnant to join, you can be planning pregnancy, postpartum or even wishing to discuss your past pregnancy outcome. I would live to have you! You can register at the link below: